Alien Nerd

I went to a liberal university. On the first day of classes, I was told that my demographic group, straight white males, were “at fault” for many of the problems of our society. Granted, this was a sociology class entitled Race Relations in America so make sure you hold onto that grain of salt.

The class went on to talk about the effects of racism, sexism, and socio-economic gaps using first and second hand sources of minority viewpoints throughout the last century. I was a freshman so I was mostly focused on getting a good grade in the class without thinking about the real world applications of what we talked about.

Fast forward to my junior year and I’ve decided to follow a course of study to allow me to become a teacher in addition to my science degree. In order to fulfill the certification requirements to become a teacher, the few education classes I took were packed full of systemic problems. It was in these classes that I learned the most important eight-syllable word in my college career: institutionalization.

Of course, that huge word didn’t seem important to my 21 year old mind; but its importance would be revealed to me soon enough. For the moment, I continued to learn and listen enough to keep my grades up but never really thought about the real world applications.

The classes started to focus more and more on social justice issues and the concept of privilege. At the time, I thought all that I learned about systemic issues and institutionalized racism and sexism were problems that only existed within the confines of the articles I read and the discussions we had in class.

This is why we focused so much on privilege: it is very difficult to recognize your own, let alone imagine the world with less privilege than you’ve always had. I remember sitting in class thinking, “Why do we only ever look at the negative parts of society? It doesn’t even seem applicable to my life.” It felt similar to that class I had freshman year, where my demographic group was basically at fault for all the social problems plaguing our world today.

After graduation, I began working as a teacher in a poor neighborhood, hundreds of miles from where I grew up. My time at this school opened my eyes: those problems weren’t just talking points in a classroom or debate, they were real. Institutionalized racism and sexism pervaded the entire system. I got a glimpse of the systemic problems that arose from a lack of funding for schools in general; which was compounded in the poor neighborhood I was working and living.

It felt as though these problems were hidden beneath the surface and, without those education classes, I wouldn’t have been able to wrap my mind around the systemic issues that plagued that school. It was a strange feeling to finally see the reality of what I doubted even existed.

The strangeness didn’t come from realizing the problems existed, it came from expecting it before even experiencing it in real life. I felt like a nerd who had spent years studying finally able to experience the topic of my studies in real life.

As I mentioned, my first job after graduation was very far from where I grew up and went to school. In order to get there, I drove several thousand miles across the continental United States. Growing up on the east coast, long drives were a boring activity on roads surrounded by trees. Soon enough on my westward journey, trees no longer blocked my view.

I fell in love with the land and my knowledge of geology and physics only deepened that love. Not only was I able to marvel at parts of my world that I’d never seen, I finally had an opportunity to put some of what I’d learned in my science classes to the test. I went to parks and learned the geological history of this continent from tour guides. I learned that I was a geology nerd who had only heard about mountains and erosion in books but hadn’t seen it in real life yet.

Unfortunately, I had to leave my job at the poor school and worked briefly in a private one-on-one school. This gave me a chance to test the reality of concepts that I had learned in my psychology classes. Again, I was a nerd who finally had evidence to verify everything that I’d learned in school.

Eventually, I began working on a project to weave all my knowledge together into a single theory. As you can imagine, this took a lot of time. I spent months on my own, researching and synthesizing everything I’ve ever learned into an interweaving idea that touches on everything.

I spent months on my own studying philosophical topics like consciousness and existence. In the time since formulating the theory, I’ve had the chance to travel around and see the world that I was theoretically describing. Once again, I was given an opportunity to verify the things I understood to be true but hadn’t yet seen.

When I first saw the mountains of Utah, my knowledge of geology made them feel expected. When I first saw the systemic problems of the poor school, my knowledge of institutionalization made it feel expected. When I first had the chance to work one-on-one with students, my knowledge of psychology made each kid feel expected.

I have spent a huge amount of time studying the human species like some sort of alien nerd looking forward to his semester abroad on Earth. Both the good parts and bad parts of this world feel expected to me.

The 21 year old me doubted the reality of systemic problems because he hadn’t experienced them. With the knowledge of my theory, I know that you will doubt me as much as I doubted my education teachers because everyone’s experience is limited. It is impossible to understand major problems unless you study them like a nerd.

I have spent so long studying humans that I barely feel like one anymore. I already know that you won’t believe me when I try to point out the problems hidden beneath the surface. It’s natural to doubt a nerd until you have experience with what they’re talking about. It makes perfect sense why you don’t want to believe me; I’m an alien nerd, after all.