Walking Home, Alone in the Dark

“It’s a lot darker than I expected.”

This was my thought as I walked along the empty Costa Rican beach. The moon was full only a few days ago so I thought I would be walking with plenty of moonlight but it was completely dark

On a later day, I would learn that the time of moonrise is later with each subsequent day, which is why it goes through different phases. On this day, there was a period of darkness between the last light of sunset and the first light of the mostly full moon. This was the time I found myself walking back home.

I had spent enough time walking through nature in the dark to feel comfortable for my long trek back to my hostel. The only concern in my head was a mild curiosity about why the moon had not risen.

There were two fires that I would pass on my walk, though they were very far apart. When I passed the first fire, I heard the grumblings of a man crossing my path behind me, walking toward the water.

“Probably just some drunk guy taking a quick break from the fire to pee in the ocean,” I thought as I kept my pace heading northward. Less than a minute later, I turned to look over my shoulder and noticed that he was following me down the beach!

I kept walking, maintaining distance between us. I turned around a few more times as I walked and noticed that I was no longer being followed by one person; now I was being followed by three people! Uh oh!

I continued walking but an uneasy feeling came over me. Reality set in: I was alone in a foreign country. Not only was I alone in another country, I was alone on an empty beach in complete darkness with three people following me!

I thought about my options: fight or flight. There was another fire further up the beach and considered that I could run to it for help if I needed. It would be a long run and would give my followers the impression that I had something worth stealing. There were three of them so I didn’t really want to fight them.

At this point, my head was completely turned and staring at my followers. I kept the same pace to avoid giving off the vibe of panic. The figures seemed to be talking, pointing, and strategically spreading out as they followed.

“Maybe I have something to bribe them,” I thought as I considered the belongings I had in my backpack: a towel, sunscreen, a bit of cash and some fruit.

Clearly, these three have made up their minds about what to do with me, I needed to make my decision: fight or flight? Without much plan, I chose a third option:

I stopped walking and said: “Hay una problema? No tengo mucho, pero quieres un banano?” In English: “Is there a problem? I don’t have much, but do you want a banana?”

The three figures burst into laughter and ran up to me to give me a fist bump, saying “Pura Vida,” the local catchphrase of Costa Rica. From this closer viewpoint, I could see that they were teenagers.

I resumed walking northward and they walked at my side for a few minutes. I still felt a little bit uneasy with the situation as they had now closed the gap between us so I decided to tell them that I was a teacher. Once they heard this, all the tension of the last few minutes dissipated.

They told me their names: Isaac, Manuel, and Hamilton. They asked me if I liked to surf and told me this beach was their usual spot. We talked about the stars I shared some concepts about astronomy with them. They told me about their school and promised to tell their classmates about meeting me.

After a few minutes of talking, they decided to walk back to their fire which was pretty far back down the beach; they were following me for a while. Again, I was alone on an empty beach in complete darkness.

As I walked the rest of the way on my own, I thought about how that situation could have played out differently. I thought about what may have happened if I had not been able to speak Spanish or if I had tried to run away. For both of those scenarios, I wondered whether those kids would have chosen violence.

Regardless of what could have happened, what did happen was amazing. It started with me being followed by three people while walking alone in the dark. Somehow, a situation that may sound like a nightmare turned into a pleasant conversation with some locals kids.

The lesson:

Fight or flight are not the only options when faced with fear, especially when that fear involves other humans. Friendship is a third option and it is surprisingly effective!

When you treat people as though they are your friends, they will usually see you as a friend too. I have the experience to back that up.